Greedy for sleep, I sink back to bed after waking my daughter for school. I’ve missed her mornings for several days now, having always made it a point to be there to help her greet the day, ask about her dreams and fortify her with food and affection as she goes forth into the world to be raised up and knocked down by all that growing up throws her way.
My mother was absent from my mornings. Until I was seven, there were constant additional babies to be fed, soothed and changed in the night. I often went to school looking like a sheep dog, leaving my kindergarten and 1st grade teachers to brush my hair.
But now, I too, am absent for my daughter, without my mother’s legitimate reasons. I’ve heard that the bereaved sometimes take on qualities of their lost ones to keep them alive. But note to self: find better things to emulate.